Eulogy for Debra Kinsey

Our sister-in-law Debra passed away early in the morning of Monday, May 5. My sister Gloria and niece Kelly asked me to give the eulogy at her funeral. To honor her, and my brother, David, I share it with you. God bless.

• Opening Prayer
• Scripture Reading:  Scripture is a treasure trove of encouraging words, words of hope and comfort in times of trial.
  Job 6
• 11 “What strength do I have, that I should still hope?
•    What prospects, that I should be patient? 12 Do I have the strength of stone?  Is my flesh bronze? 13 Do I have any power to help myself,   now that success has been driven from me?

• Psalm 9:18 18 But God will never forget the needy;    the hope of the afflicted will never perish.

• 1 Thessalonians 4:13

• 13 Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope. 14 For we believe that Jesus died and rose again, and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him. 15 According to the Lord’s word, we tell you that we who are still alive, who are left until the coming of the Lord, will certainly not precede those who have fallen asleep. 16 For the Lord himself will come down from heaven, with a loud command, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet call of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. 17 After that, we who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so we will be with the Lord forever. 18 Therefore encourage one another with these words.
  
• Prayer for the message
• Eulogy:  

Prologue:

At times like these, we ask the question. Perhaps the most often asked is “Why?” Sometimes “Why now?” or even “How?” We often hear “Why would God?” or even the more strident variation “How could God?” and then we fill in the blank “How could God let this happen?” or “How could God take this person from me?” We may even hear others blaming, or cursing, God, and in their desperation and hopelessness, believing themselves to have a just cause. One of our ancestors, Job, (there’s a whole book about him in the Bible), wrestled with these same questions. Job had it all - a large family, beautiful sons, daughters, son-in-laws, daughter-in-laws, wealth, and property beyond imagine, a ‘gazillionaire’ of his time. It was all gone in one day. And then God allowed Satan, the adversary, to even take his health. His friends tried to convince him he must have done something really bad. His wife tried to convince him to curse God and die. Job refused to believe any of this - he stated I know that my
Redeemer lives, and that in the end I shall stand before Him at last.

John Donne - No man is an island,  entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main; if a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promontory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were;  any man's death diminishes me, because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee.

The answer we all seek does not exist on earth, in the sky, or in space. (Whoa! What a way to begin a eulogy?) In the depths of the sea, in the broad expanse of the sky, or in the deep cold of space, the answer to the greatest question of all humans for all time escapes definition - it escapes our feeble ability to understand the broad complexity of this thing we call life. The answer we all seek at some time or another is the answer to the question ‘What is the meaning of life?’

Philosophers have attempted to categorize the answer in elaborate rituals or ways of life, engineers have attempted to build it into designs, chemists into the various raw materials we use every day, doctors into the procedures to save lives, and educators into the tools to prepare us to contribute to our society. The answer escapes them as well. In fact, there isn’t any amount of education, or lack of education, which can prepare a person to answer the question. Humorists have even tried - Douglas Adams in The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy gave the answer as 42, though he never revealed the real question, and 42 turned out to be nothing more than a joke  -

The answer to this is very simple. It was a joke. It had to be a number, an ordinary, smallish number, and I chose that one. Binary representations, base thirteen, Tibetan monks are all complete nonsense. I sat at my desk, stared into the garden and thought '42 will do'. I typed it out. End of story.

Of course the real question is not a joke at all, no matter how many humorists, writers, or comedians would attempt to humor or laugh their way through.

The gift we are each given in the moment of our birth is life itself, with its boundless potential. This is the gift each child shares, each person throughout the known history of the world, and each person as the chapter of each life is closed, the boundless potential of life. Life has its cycles, and the complexity of each cycle can amaze, if we let it. We grow from children, like David, to adults, like me, to senior citizens, like Mom. We learn, we work, we retire; we have families, children, grandchildren, nieces, and nephews. And - we remember those who have gone before.

Debbie had her own experience growing, going to school, meeting her many friends, especially one of her best friends, our sister Carol. She graduated high school, and then learned nursing, one of the most caring professions, and one which is very much acquainted with life, and death. She and David helped each other through their many trials in life. David brought two children to the marriage - James and Kelly, and then they were blessed with two sons - Corey and Aaron, and their fiances and wives, Amber and Amanda. Grandchildren joined the cycle of life - Paige, David, Hayle, and Konrad and have been a blessing as well. This is a very common theme, isn’t it?

This isn’t the first time we have joined together in remembering those who have gone before, is it? For example:  we remember Edmond Kinsey, the attorney for the Pennsylvania Railroad, Aunt Edith, Aunt Esther, Grandma and Grandpa Kinsey, Uncle Richard Howell, Uncle Howard Willis, Grandma and Grandpa Howell, Aunt Berdena, Uncle George, Aunt Helen and Uncle Seward, Uncle Bob and Aunt Lettie Johnston, Uncle John Kinsey, our Father - Charles C. Kinsey who have gone before us. Would you take a moment to name others as well so we can hear their names and remember them? {pause here to let others name friends and family}

The story of our life is not complete without the telling. So, let’s take a few moments to share stories of Debbie’s life? Please feel free to stand and share.

Conclusion:  

We haven’t really answered the question, have we? In these brief moments together we have only captured a glimpse of a small piece of the cycle of life, and death.

Oh yes. The end of the story of Job:  God finally spoke to Job and his friends out of the storm, a tornado of all places, and asked them to declare, if they were able, how high were the heavens, how deep was the sea, how many creatures there were in all the earth, and the total expanse of the universe. Job, and his friends, could not - it was beyond their understanding. This too, is beyond our understanding.

In our efforts to understand the meaning of it all, the ‘why’ in our life, Solomon, one of the wisest men who has ever lived, had this to say:

Everything Has Its Time Ecclesiastes 3

1 To everything there is a season, A time for every purpose under heaven:

2 A time to be born,  And a time to die; A time to plant,  And a time to pluck what is planted;

3 A time to kill,  And a time to heal; A time to break down,    And a time to build up;

4 A time to weep,  And a time to laugh; A time to mourn,    And a time to dance;

5 A time to cast away stones,  And a time to gather stones;A time to embrace,    And a time to refrain from embracing;

6 A time to gain,    And a time to lose;A time to keep,    And a time to throw away;

7 A time to tear,    And a time to sew;A time to keep silence,    And a time to speak;

8 A time to love,    And a time to hate; A time of war,    And a time of peace.

Paul, the apostle, wrote to the church at Thessalonica to comfort them in their time of trial. He reminded them that every person has the opportunity to have hope in Jesus Christ - he reminded them “Brothers and sisters, we do not want you to be uninformed about those who sleep in death, so that you do not grieve like the rest of mankind, who have no hope.” Perhaps that is one of the keys to the answer - our capacity for hope in the future, and for hope in each day. Just for today we can stand together as family and friends. Just for today we can comfort and support each other. Just for today we can let a kind word replace a hasty one. Just for today we can look to our Savior, Jesus, for the strength to bear our cross one more day. Just for today we can share our laughter, our tears, our hurt, and our hope for tomorrow.

Closing Prayer